$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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