If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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