Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
