You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
