Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I see more hoeing in ur future
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