i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
