spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
