32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
