I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
