dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
