i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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