I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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