i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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