Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
