His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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