That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
