Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
