Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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