Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What a dumb baby whore.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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