I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
