yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
