Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
