Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
