I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
