We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
