We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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