I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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