i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
