Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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