can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I cannot find my penis.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
