Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
