That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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