Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
