I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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