He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
one might say we're banned from that church
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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