Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
