uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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