If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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