You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
