Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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