I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
