i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My friends, they love my intelligence
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
