just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
