do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
