did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Enjoy the penises
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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