Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
