The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
handjob tips. give me some.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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