Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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