My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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