well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
